A year ago today, my best friend passed away. I can still feel the trembling in my body as the news was verified and the reality slowly began to sink in. It is so hard to believe that it has now been a little over a year since the last time I heard "Hello sweetheart" on the other end of the phone.
I have learned a lot over the last year, even at times when I didn't want to. I learned that it's okay to cry, to mourn, and to withdrawal for a while. I learned that it's okay to be mad at the situation, at the loss, and even at God. I learned that its okay if it takes a while to not cry or choke up when talking about the great person you were. I learned that it was okay to shed a tear when watching Cooper interact with one of his best girl friends the way that we used to play, joke, and love the time spent together. Making it through an entire day without crying took a while....and I learned that that was okay. It was okay to not be strong for a time in my life when I needed to be weak, vulnerable, and allow myself to work through the morning process.
One of the biggest lessons that I was reminded of though, was to live life to the fullest EVERY DAY! Life is too short to be spent criticizing others, holding grudges, in negativity, and in jealousy. Life is better spent embracing what the day brings as a chance for growth, laughter, lessons, and fond memories.
I can't really explain the feelings of loosing a best friend. But, I thank the Lord for bringing me closer to friendships, bringing new friendships into my life, and reminding me of the love that is shared throughout all of us who had the privilege to know Cody and have our lives touched by him.
So while today is a tough day, I know that Cody is smiling down on us and that one day, I will get to see him again, hugging his neck and hear "Hello sweetheart" one more time.
