To Do What I Love

It's only taken me 6 years post college to find what I love and do it!  I'd say that's not bad considering that some people go throughout their entire life trying to figure out what they love to do and then struggle to find a way to do it and still make a living. 

I can only say that I am blessed.  I am so blessed to have found what I love AND be good at it....or at least good enough for others to believe in me and my abilities. 

About four years ago I stepped into my first "Group Fitness Class" not knowing what to expect as far as if I would be embarrassed, accepted, or even be good at anything the class was doing.  I was about 11 months post partum with Cooper at that point and still carried pregnancy weight that I so desperately wanted to loose.  The first class I ever took was BodyFlow, which is a combination of Yoga, Pilates, and Tai Chi in an "athletic" form.  I made it through the class but barely broke a sweat.  I remember coming home and thinking that I would rather lift weights than do that class again because I didn't get a good "sweat" out of it!  Little did I know that the next morning I would hurt in places that I had forgotten could hurt!  At that moment, I was sold on GGX Classes.  I planned my days and weeks around the classes that I would attend.  I enjoyed the music, the members, and the encouragement from the instructor, even though in my mind I swore she didn't even know I was a regular attendee of her class.  (Side note - now that I am an instructor... I KNOW my regulars, I love getting to know them, their families, and their journey in their health and fitness.  That's one of the best parts of my job!  So, looking back, she "knew" me even if we never had long, meaningful discussions.) 

Fast forward to 9 months post partum with Aubrey.  My running training had started and I quickly realized that I needed to get back into stretching on a regular basis.  I became a "regular" again in BodyFlow since I already had my cardio taken care of.  After a few months of being a "regular", I heard of a training that was being held in town to become certified to teach BodyFlow. 

What a blessing it was and is that I made that decision to get certified.  I am now certified in multiple programs with the intent to certify in additional ones to teach other formats.  In addition to seeing member's lives change through their journey to become healthier and happier, I too have become happier and healthier!  (An added bonus to all of this is that I am finally down to my pre pregnancy weight, i.e. college weight!)

I love the people I work with and the opportunities that I have been given to further this as a career.  I'm two weeks into my position as a GGX Manager and couldn't be happier!  I always knew that I wanted to go back to work when my kids were in school, and because of some recent changes, it was more of a necessity for me to get back into working.  BUT, I never had the desire to go back into a desk job, working M-F 8-5.

I'm happy, healthy, and "hopefully" am blessing other people's lives through what I do.  Doors have opened, relationships have been made, and opportunities have become a career....all because I made that first step into my first ever GGX class!

Mommy Bragging Moment!

Here it comes....a Mommy Bragging Moment!

Let's start from the top!  Cooper LOVES school!  Seriously.  He even told me yesterday, "Mommy, did you know that we learn ALL DAY at school?"  He was very very serious as he told me this.  I smiled...I love that kid.

He told me about how his color stayed on blue all day long and how he was going to keep it on blue all year!  He explained that blue meant that he was super, duper, duper, duper, good.  Apparently all of the girls stayed on the color blue, but only another little boy and himself stayed on blue also.  All of the other boys had their color changed, so they had to sit at the table and not talk at all.  When asked how Cooper felt about being with all the girls, he shrugged his shoulders and said "I'm okay with it, it doesn't bother me."  Of course not! 

During the day, a little boy called Cooper a name.  This was big news that Cooper shared with me when I picked him up.  When he told me this, immediately my heart stared beating faster...my first thought was "Seriously, we put you in private school to try to AVOID this!"  So, I asked many more questions.  For whatever reason, this boy called Cooper a "mint"...now if you know what the meaning of using this in a name calling sense is, please share with me.  Cooper told another boy who then told on the little boy.  None of this really seemed to phase Cooper, but he still needed to share it with me.

So, overall a good first day!  He was excited to do his homework and was ready to go back to school today.  

This morning as I dropped Cooper off at school, his teacher stopped me with a look of concern on her face.  I thought she was going to tell me about the little boy that called Cooper a name yesterday, so I was prepared to hear that maybe Cooper had not been as innocent as he described in his story,  instead it was because she wanted me to know that "I have a very sweet boy and that she is so happy to have him in class"  At first I couldn't help but think that she is probably saying this to all of the parents, which is very sweet.  But then, she kept bragging about how great of a kid he is.  Her eyes even teared up at one point.  The personality of his teacher and of Cooper are a great match.  I know that they will get along very well.  The best part is, I think it will help to build his excitement about learning even more. 

Day three is tomorrow, here's to praying that the excitement for school sticks around and that each day gets even better. 

He's Got The Whole World, In His Hands

"My God made ALL of that?"  That is the question that was asked by C tonight while we watched the 2012 Summer Olympic Opening Ceremonies.

I too remember being in awe of the Olympics as a young child.  Even tonight, I still got chills thinking how cool it is for so many countries to participate in the games.

So as we watched the opening ceremonies, there was a lot of explaining to do for the kids so they could understand a bit of what was going on.  It's hard for a young child to understand the magnitude of how big and neat the Olympics are, so when the ceremony went to showing children from all 4 parts of the UK singing, I made a comment that those places were so pretty.  That statement was then followed with "and God made all of it."

Immediately, Cooper stared at the TV even harder and asked (without taking his eyes from the TV), "My God made ALL of that?  That's awesome!"  Then a bit of a pause, followed by "Wow!"  I stared at him for a bit to take in the amazed look on his face.  He was in AWE of HIS GOD!

While I want to type more on this tonight, I am so tired.  But, I wanted to share this amazing moment with my dear son.  As we go through watching the next three weeks of the Olympics, I hope that more amazing moments will happen.  I hope that my children can watch as athletes compete and work hard, showing that through hard work and discipline, dreams can come true.  I am so excited about this fun time....for now, I go to sleep!

L.I.F.E.

A year ago today, my best friend passed away. I can still feel the trembling in my body as the news was verified and the reality slowly began to sink in. It is so hard to believe that it has now been a little over a year since the last time I heard "Hello sweetheart" on the other end of the phone.

I have learned a lot over the last year, even at times when I didn't want to. I learned that it's okay to cry, to mourn, and to withdrawal for a while. I learned that it's okay to be mad at the situation, at the loss, and even at God. I learned that its okay if it takes a while to not cry or choke up when talking about the great person you were. I learned that it was okay to shed a tear when watching Cooper interact with one of his best girl friends the way that we used to play, joke, and love the time spent together. Making it through an entire day without crying took a while....and I learned that that was okay. It was okay to not be strong for a time in my life when I needed to be weak, vulnerable, and allow myself to work through the morning process.

One of the biggest lessons that I was reminded of though, was to live life to the fullest EVERY DAY! Life is too short to be spent criticizing others, holding grudges, in negativity, and in jealousy. Life is better spent embracing what the day brings as a chance for growth, laughter, lessons, and fond memories.

I can't really explain the feelings of loosing a best friend. But, I thank the Lord for bringing me closer to friendships, bringing new friendships into my life, and reminding me of the love that is shared throughout all of us who had the privilege to know Cody and have our lives touched by him.

So while today is a tough day, I know that Cody is smiling down on us and that one day, I will get to see him again, hugging his neck and hear "Hello sweetheart" one more time.

Driving Without a Purpose

I'm not gonna lie... I'm rather surprised that I have not had a speeding ticket in over 8 years (watch, tomorrow I'm gonna get a ticket!). That's not to say that I drive recklessly, too fast, or in any way of putting people in danger, but let's face it, I drive with a purpose! It only makes sense that if I'm going to take the time to buckle both kids in the car, making sure they have their drinks and snacks within reach, toys/books/movies to entertain them, and that I have all items necessary for our day's drive to the store, gym, park, school, etc....that I would make sure that I have a PURPOSE for the day.

This is also a good spot to add in that there are days that, well honestly, I'm just not a people person....at least when it comes to their inability to DRIVE. I do NOT have road rage, in fact IF I feel the urge to curse while driving (mind you, with kids in the car), it is a sentence full of "Holy moly, that person is a doe-doe head. Holy SHEEEESH, just DRIVE gosh dang it!"....real effective, huh? Needless to say, the kids are normally rolling with laughter at this point, which then calms me down...they can be great therapy!

Back to the point of this blog. So, it just so happens that I have been driving A LOT! I have had such great opportunities to teach at multiple gyms, enjoying my classes, and becoming a stronger instructor. On Friday for instance I drove probably close to 60 miles total between 3 gyms.

So on Saturday as I was driving to the gym (by myself...and for those who are moms who constantly have kiddos in the car with them, this is like HEAVEN!!! I get to listen to MY music, turn it up, roll the windows down, and act young again....pure bliss!), I ended up between multiple drivers who didn't know which lane to be, or drove SO slow, or were too busy on the phone to pay attention to the light change. In my moment of frustration, I thought....."Wow, it's like they are driving without a purpose."

For some, this sounds wonderful. Such as those that enjoy a Sunday afternoon drive in the Hill Country, apparently I realized this weekend that I am NOT that person! I want to get from point A to point B as quickly as I can. But even in this mindset, it's not always the best place to be.

(Be prepared...it's about to get serious here!)

So since I was driving by myself and could actually hear myself THINK, I began to correlate this thought to life in general. There are those that wonder through life without a purpose. They get through the day doing a routine or enough to get by and be happy. This is not an awful way to live life, but I can't help but wonder what they could accomplish or experience with a little more "drive." So then there are those, like myself, who drive with a purpose, go quickly, have multiple activities that are unrelated going on within their life. They feel accomplished, determined, stressed, and worn down (at times). While this is also not an awful way to live life, I can't help but wonder what they are missing by not slowing down and enjoying those moments of "relaxation, rest, or down time."

The happy median (pun ABSOLUTELY intended!), where does it lie? Is it at a point where you truly split your time half and half between drive and a slower pace? Is it at a point of deciding what is important, what can wait, and how to challenge your mind and self just a bit more? Is it when you decide which stress is positive and motivating, and which stress is bringing you down emotionally and even physically?

I know that there are times that I just need to slow down. In fact, a friend recognized in me the ability to admit when I am stretched a bit too thin, find out what needs to be "let go" and make the decision for myself. Within the next month, I will be "letting go" of an area of my life. Maybe then I will begin to "slow down" while still Driving With a Purpose!

Shake My Head Moment (1 of Many!)

The moment that you unlock the front door, turn the handle, and NOTHING happens.....that was my afternoon. And by "nothing happens", I mean that the door did not open, budge, or anything. The handle turned, but the door remained in it's locked, not opening position.

So....without further adieu, here is the non-edited, long version that is proof of being labeled a Shake My Head (SMH) moment.

The kids and I left the house to walk across the street to our friend's house. I locked the bottom lock and set the alarm. (I know, crazy right, but I would be MAD if the house was broken into without me knowing about it.....keep this in mind as you continue reading.)

So, we play and enjoy our time across the street. I hear my dogs barking in the backyard a few times, but don't really pay much attention to it. The kids were ready to go play in the front and ride their bikes/scooters. I head over to the house to open the garage (by way of going through the front door, into the house, and then opening the garage door). I unlock the bottom lock and disarm the alarm (key chain button). I then turn the handle and go to open the door.....now for the simple fact that I have NEVER had an issue with thinking the door wouldn't open, I of course put my weight into opening the door and walk in to make this all one movement. BUT, instead I just went right into the door....because the door DIDN'T BUDGE! I was a bit confused, why would the door not open?

So I check the other dead bolt, just in case I had locked it without even thinking about it. Nope, not locked....but the door still won't open. My mind raced to this...."the top dead bolt is locked (can only be locked from the inside) and the only way it would be locked is if someone was in the house."

Now as a side note, I'm sure some might be putting pieces of information together. Such as, the alarm was set, so if someone broke in then the alarm would have gone off right? I couldn't agree more, EXCEPT that I had left the windows open that face the backyard, where the dogs where barking earlier. SO, if they went in through the window, there would have been no broken glass which means the alarm would not have been set off. (Lesson here, I will ALWAYS close and lock all windows before leaving the house from now on!)

Okay so here I stand knowing that the top dead bolt must be locked, the windows in the back were open, and the dogs had been barking earlier. Of course, because I am invincible, I walk around to the backyard (oh yeah, the kids are still with my neighbor) prepared to confront whomever is in my house....seriously, why am I so confident in myself sometimes? I look at the screens and can't remember if that one little corner was a bit bowed out when I opened the window. So since I can't remember, then someone MUST have taken it off, then put it back on. I look into the house and see that nothing looks touched or moved, so where does my mind go???? Yes, to the thought that they are waiting for me to come into the house....(pausing my thoughts for a moment to ensure you that I DO NOT watch scary movies, I can't stand them....never have been able to because I already have an AMAZING imagination to work with, and this is the proof!)

I come back around to the front yard to decide what to do next. While all of this is going on, the teenager from the house across the street, is out front. Call it bad timing or me being paranoid (okay both), but as I mention to my neighbor that I am going to call the police, he gets on his phone.....to call the person in my house, I'm sure! (insert eyeroll to myself) So, I call the police and Randell and then wait for both to arrive. I am watching the house like a hawk, I reset the alarm just in case whoever was in my house tried to leave, the alarm would sound.

All the while, I had the entire story plotted out in my head, that whoever was in the house had gone in through the back window, locked the inside dead bolt so they could buy some time, then once they realized that the alarm was set, they knew they couldn't leave through the doors because then it would go off, and that meant they couldn't take anything, then they heard me unlock the door and were trapped! To add to this, the teenager keeps watching me....probably thinking that I'm a crazy person who just can't open the darn door.

Just as in any wonderful town, the police come speeding to the house, sirens on, ready to fight crime....yeah right, not in my city! So, 30 minutes pass (yes, I said 30 minutes!) and Randell gets to the house to help check it out. He reminds me that he put in a new dead bolt a few weeks back and it probably just wiggled a bit and locked it in that manner....because that would be the logical way to think, right? I'm still convinced of my storyline in my head, but let him go see if he can jiggle the door open.

What do you know, the door opens after a few wiggles and jiggles. By the way, the teenager at this point is laughing on the inside but politely smiles on the outside as I look over. In an attempt to avoid pure embarrassment, I call the police back to cancel the call, but of course, they can't cancel calls of this nature....SMH!

There we all are, kids playing in the street, talking a bit with neighbors as the police car finally pulls up. I tell him my storyline that I had come up with....just kidding, I told him what must have happened with the dead bolt and how I apparently am not as strong as I lead on to believe because I could not wiggle and jiggle the door open (I left that part out, but that's what I was thinking on the inside). I was waiting for the "jerkish" type of cop to be annoyed with even having to respond to this call, when he smiled and then asked the kids if they had ever seen inside a police car. The boys LOVED looking inside, turning on the lights, hearing the siren, and seeing the flares.

So, the moral of the story....make up a crazy story in your head that there's a crazy person in your house, waiting for you, then call the cops and your kiddos will get to check out a police car and think it's the coolest thing ever! But beware, you'll have another SMH moment to add to the books!

The End!!!!

Off The Wall Nerves

My first Les Mills training I went into blind. I knew nothing of what I was embarking on or if I would even enjoy this new adventure. I left a new person, ready to teach, inspire, and encourage. I felt prepared, at least as far as knowing what I was working towards.

This weekend, I enter a new area of Les Mills, CXWorx. For 36 hours I will do nothing but think, learn, and do this class! This group fitness class is PURE core, abs, and back. It's intense to say the least. I heard one person say one time when doing the class, "Don't think about the pain, just do the class." It's so true!

So, I have learned the track, I know the moves, I sing the words to the songs (from listening to it so much), and my abs are already stronger. I can't help to ask then....WHY AM I DOUBTING MYSELF? I am beyond nervous to walk into that room and look weak. To fail at giving the correct instruction, to not "fit in". What, really? WHY do I care if I fit in....ugh I feel like a high school kid again.

I hate that I doubt myself. I bust my rear, work hard, and try hard to live each moment to the fullest. I am in shape, I run, I teach at least 2 classes a week that include yoga, pilates, and tai chi. I stand up in front of gym members and lead them to hopefully a new, stronger future. I have passion in what I do and I want others to see my passion.

So, maybe I doubt myself because I'm worried that others won't see my passion for building a stronger, healthier body. It's odd to think that for some reason I worry how strangers will view me, even from first impressions (when I am quiet, reserved, and working up the confidence to be outgoing....odd right, for all of you that know me would NEVER imagine me as quiet, but that's just because I'm so comfortable around you that I am ME!).

Over the next 36 hours I plan to tell myself and convince myself that I can do it, I am strong enough, it will hurt but will be worth it, and at the end of the day I will know I did my best.

Oh, and this too....

Laugh A Little

Yes, I am addicted to Pinterest, oh well! BUT, the fun thing with that is that I find some hilarious photos. So, I will share them with all of you that are non-Pinterest followers!

My Daughter

That moment when you're standing in line at a crowded store and you smell something, but since you are with your kids (and you're an adult), you choose to not make a big deal about it. Then, your 2 year old daughter puts her hand to her nose and says, VERY LOUDLY.....

"EWWWW STINKY!"

Then she looks at each of us (Cooper and myself) and asks (again loudly)

"You toot?"

Cooper replies "It wasn't me!" As he waves his nose with his hand.

I am over there trying really hard to say quietly, it wasn't us, let's just start putting this stuff on the check out belt to attempt to distract her from the smell. She continues on a minute or two more while people begin looking around....I feel sorry for the person who was the guilty party. Apparently my daughter has a keen sense of smell!

Regrets

When you stop at a red light and look at the car next to you to see the driver singing, dancing, and jamming out to a song....and honestly they just look weird. Yep, that's me! I am that driver that is dancing, singing, and jamming out. I have even broadened my "group" to my kiddos...they love it. To top this, I am notorious for making up my own words to songs if I don't know what the lyrics are supposed to be. It is a bit embarrassing, though, when I sing the song around other people, wrong words and all, and they look at me like I'm crazy.

*Side note, I will never admit that I am crazy, but I am me....one who tries to live without regrets, live each day (even moment) to the fullest. Why not? Life is great and should be enjoyed and that joy should be shared! Now resuming previous thought process.....

So, this morning at church as the song "How He Loves Us" by David Crowder Band was being sung, I followed the words on the screen. Here they are....

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me
And O how He loves us Oh,
O how He loves us
How He loves us all
Yeah He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

It's an amazing song, one that I regularly belt out at the top of my lungs when I am driving by myself. Every time I heard this song, I am reminded how much God loves me....so cool.

This morning though, I realized that I have been singing the song wrong (that's not a new surprise to me). The green verse above hit me hard. Particularly the line "I don't have time to maintain these regrets" It seems so easy for us (okay, I'll speak for me at least) to hold onto events in our life when we mess up. We dwell in the guilt, the shame, and the feelings, thus giving the devil the ability to steal our joy.

So, I look at this line in two ways. One is that we should not beat ourselves up for our mistakes. With that thought though, we should not stay at a place where we relive the same mistakes over and over again. By doing this, we no longer "regret" our decisions, but instead have begun living a lifestyle that was once considered a "regret" in our everyday life. That doesn't sound fun to me.

Rather, we should accept that mistakes (sin) happens....everyday for every one, there's no escaping it. Instead, we recognize the mistake, we ask for forgiveness, and we move on and continue to enjoy the life around us. To hold onto the regret will only make us bitter, worrisome, and distracted. I can't help but think of the process when it comes to a young child. They hit their sibling, they get disciplined for the action, they apologize and ask for forgiveness, and are then ready to play again. For my children I work at quick forgiveness, in an attempt to not rob my child of their joy and vigor for life. Just the same, I believe that God wants us to bounce back up and live life after we stumble, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.

Let go of Regret, and instead grab hold of the joys all around you!

Inspiration

***Disclaimer***
This blog is intended for me to have a place to put my thoughts, feelings, jokes, etc. It's as if this is my diary that I hide under my mattress at night....BUT, I allow it to be public for everyone to read. So, you don't have to agree or like what I say, but if you choose to read my blog, just know that it is what I WANT to say, and not what I should say to "play it safe."


Okay, that's over....so here it goes.

I have always wanted to "stay in shape." I never really played any sports growing up, I ran cross country for a short while, but just never really stuck with anything. Honestly, I was just thin/skinny because that's how God had made me. Once at Texas A&M, I had the ability to exercise at an amazing Rec Center on campus. I went from time to time, ran a bit here and there, but again was never really stuck in a good routine.

After graduating from college and becoming pregnant with Cooper, I decided to get into a consistent work out routine. So, 4 days a week after work I would head to gym, do some cardio, lift some weights, and do some core training. After both of my pregnancies, I was the heaviest that I had ever been. I look back now at pictures taken right after having Aubrey, and I am amazed at how much my hard work and dedication has paid off.

Deciding to run a half marathon was one of the craziest decisions I had ever made, but in the end, one of the best decisions as well. At the time I could not even finish a mile run without having to stop a few times. I began to question if I could really run 13.1 miles without stopping (which was my goal). But through many early, cold, and LONG morning runs and the dedication of a running partner, along with a drive that I could do it, I met my goal.

Through that journey, my weight from both pregnancies began to fall off of me. It was not easy though. I went through a period where my calves would cramp up immediately after I stopped running, to the point where I would fall to the ground and someone would have to carry me inside. Many mornings all I wanted to do was turn my alarm off after only getting a few hours of sleep that night due to still having a nursing baby waking up at night. There were bitter cold morning runs that made my chest hurt from the cold air...and made me want my bed and warm covers even more. It was not easy, it was tough, it was hard, many times I wanted to stop and give up on my goal.

Looking back now, I am SO GLAD that I never gave up (completely). I worked hard and smart to get myself - body, mind, and endurance - to a level higher than I had imagined.

I want to be someone's inspiration. I want to be encouragement to a mom (new or years down the road into "mommy-hood") who wonders if her body will ever return to it's previous state (fyi - mine has not returned all the way to my pre-preggo body, but that's okay. I'm healthy, fit, and strong....so I'm happy!). I want other's to believe that they can do it, even through the tough, rough, and crappy parts. With dedication, hard work, and determination, they can reach a healthy, fit, and strong body.

Because......

This is Your Life

Thought I would share with you my latest question that I keep having to go back and answer. Whatever size the issue, big or small, how one reacts and handles it depends a lot on who we want to be.

So, I keep asking myself, "This is your life, are you who you want to be?"

(That answer is still pending!)

Enjoy the music.

Being Proud

This is my goal....emotionally and physically. To be proud of who I am, who I can be, who I will be, and what I do.

But, above all else, I want My GOD to be proud of who HE made me to be!