Hello 2012!

For me to say that 2011 was a hard year would be an understatement. 2011 was filled with hurt, disappointment, sadness, loneliness, loss, grief, and anger. It will be a year that I remember as changing my life, changing my thought process, and changing who I am and who I want to be.

2011 was also filled with hope, new beginnings, new challenges, and new accomplishments. I began a new job as a fitness instructor and found that I really have a passion for the health and fitness world. I accomplished many challenges along the way to get to this point, thus proving to myself that I still have it in me to put my mind towards a goal, and work really hard to reach it.

My children continue to bless me with their smiles, hugs and kisses, endless energy, a love for others, a desire to learn, and a curiosity to try new adventures.

I have been reminded over and over through 2011 that through all of the pain, hurt, sin, and anger, that God is still next to me, wanting to help me through each and every day of my life.



For 2012, my hope is that I continue to lean on God for his strength through the rough months that may come. I pray that I will not turn towards being angry at a situation (which is so easy to do), but rather that I would embrace the challenge and know that my God is for me.

I am a strong believer that each day is what we make of it. So, I really pray that I am able to make the most of each day God has given me. To take care of my soul and my body. To exercise, to eat right, to pray, and to focus on what really matters at the end of the day. I pray that I can be thankful for what I have rather than constantly wanting more, be passionate in what I do and not take it for granted, and live in the moment instead of thinking about the future.

We were not put on this earth to worry about life, for this reason, I will work on not being full of fear but instead be full of hope and promise. Life was not promised to be easy, although, I plan to live each day to the fullest, work on not taking moments and things for granted, and loving those around me who I care for and cherish.

Innocent Crush

It all started this morning.....

"Hey Mommy, I have a new friend at school, she's in the Giraffe class." - Cooper

"Oh really? What's her name?" - Me (since I work there, I get to "spy" and find out who this friend is.)

"Her name is M (shortened of course for her real name)" - Cooper

And that was the depth of the conversation. Fast forward to this morning around 11:30 when I took some extra cookies into where C's class was, along with the Giraffe class. They were sitting there watching a Christmas movie. They could sit anywhere they wanted. I spotted Cooper sitting with some of his friends in the back. It took me a moment before I saw a girl sitting next to him. I asked one of the teachers is that was M....and it was confirmed that it was.

So, I am standing there watching and talking with the teachers a bit when I see her lift her arm and rub his back. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Oh my goodness!!!" I thought.....how sweet, cute, and innocent all of it was. At one point C turned around and saw me there. I asked him if that was M and he nodded his head yes and smiled a silly, possibly slightly embarrassed, smile. I of course then went to embarrass him some more by giving him a kiss and telling him "I love you." Come on, a moms gotta do what a moms gotta do when another woman comes into her son's life! :)

I then learned how C has been showing off in front of her, she has been asking him to sit next to her when they watch movies, and they say hi to each other when they see each other outside of class.

He made sure that an invitation to his Christmas party for school went home with her....he REALLY wants her there!

Oh, and for those who are concerned.....I know her parents, they are both Texas A&M Alumni....they pass the inspection! :)

Hurting Heart

I am not looking for sympathy....just needing to put this out there. There are moments, like this evening, that I miss my best friend so so much. I find myself wanting to be mad at God for taking him from me. If only I could call him right now to hear him say "It's all going to be okay." Instead, I am trying so hard to hear that from God...but the static is so so loud.

I think I do a pretty good job at putting a smile on my face and acting as if my life is going well. I've decided to tonight to let go and CRY. The flood gates are open and I am not holding back.

Bucket List

It's about time to have a Bucket List! I refuse to let life get me down....instead, I am going after it head on! This is definitely a work in progress.....

• Be apart of a flash mob
• Run a half marathon at Disney World
• Run a half marathon in Hawaii
• Be on the Amazing Race
• Go deep sea diving
• Earn more fitness instructor certifications
• Backpack thru Europe
• Volunteer for at least a month at a Haven for Hope type of place
• Witness a birth (other than my own of course)

That's a good start.....