Shake My Head Moment (1 of Many!)

The moment that you unlock the front door, turn the handle, and NOTHING happens.....that was my afternoon. And by "nothing happens", I mean that the door did not open, budge, or anything. The handle turned, but the door remained in it's locked, not opening position.

So....without further adieu, here is the non-edited, long version that is proof of being labeled a Shake My Head (SMH) moment.

The kids and I left the house to walk across the street to our friend's house. I locked the bottom lock and set the alarm. (I know, crazy right, but I would be MAD if the house was broken into without me knowing about it.....keep this in mind as you continue reading.)

So, we play and enjoy our time across the street. I hear my dogs barking in the backyard a few times, but don't really pay much attention to it. The kids were ready to go play in the front and ride their bikes/scooters. I head over to the house to open the garage (by way of going through the front door, into the house, and then opening the garage door). I unlock the bottom lock and disarm the alarm (key chain button). I then turn the handle and go to open the door.....now for the simple fact that I have NEVER had an issue with thinking the door wouldn't open, I of course put my weight into opening the door and walk in to make this all one movement. BUT, instead I just went right into the door....because the door DIDN'T BUDGE! I was a bit confused, why would the door not open?

So I check the other dead bolt, just in case I had locked it without even thinking about it. Nope, not locked....but the door still won't open. My mind raced to this...."the top dead bolt is locked (can only be locked from the inside) and the only way it would be locked is if someone was in the house."

Now as a side note, I'm sure some might be putting pieces of information together. Such as, the alarm was set, so if someone broke in then the alarm would have gone off right? I couldn't agree more, EXCEPT that I had left the windows open that face the backyard, where the dogs where barking earlier. SO, if they went in through the window, there would have been no broken glass which means the alarm would not have been set off. (Lesson here, I will ALWAYS close and lock all windows before leaving the house from now on!)

Okay so here I stand knowing that the top dead bolt must be locked, the windows in the back were open, and the dogs had been barking earlier. Of course, because I am invincible, I walk around to the backyard (oh yeah, the kids are still with my neighbor) prepared to confront whomever is in my house....seriously, why am I so confident in myself sometimes? I look at the screens and can't remember if that one little corner was a bit bowed out when I opened the window. So since I can't remember, then someone MUST have taken it off, then put it back on. I look into the house and see that nothing looks touched or moved, so where does my mind go???? Yes, to the thought that they are waiting for me to come into the house....(pausing my thoughts for a moment to ensure you that I DO NOT watch scary movies, I can't stand them....never have been able to because I already have an AMAZING imagination to work with, and this is the proof!)

I come back around to the front yard to decide what to do next. While all of this is going on, the teenager from the house across the street, is out front. Call it bad timing or me being paranoid (okay both), but as I mention to my neighbor that I am going to call the police, he gets on his phone.....to call the person in my house, I'm sure! (insert eyeroll to myself) So, I call the police and Randell and then wait for both to arrive. I am watching the house like a hawk, I reset the alarm just in case whoever was in my house tried to leave, the alarm would sound.

All the while, I had the entire story plotted out in my head, that whoever was in the house had gone in through the back window, locked the inside dead bolt so they could buy some time, then once they realized that the alarm was set, they knew they couldn't leave through the doors because then it would go off, and that meant they couldn't take anything, then they heard me unlock the door and were trapped! To add to this, the teenager keeps watching me....probably thinking that I'm a crazy person who just can't open the darn door.

Just as in any wonderful town, the police come speeding to the house, sirens on, ready to fight crime....yeah right, not in my city! So, 30 minutes pass (yes, I said 30 minutes!) and Randell gets to the house to help check it out. He reminds me that he put in a new dead bolt a few weeks back and it probably just wiggled a bit and locked it in that manner....because that would be the logical way to think, right? I'm still convinced of my storyline in my head, but let him go see if he can jiggle the door open.

What do you know, the door opens after a few wiggles and jiggles. By the way, the teenager at this point is laughing on the inside but politely smiles on the outside as I look over. In an attempt to avoid pure embarrassment, I call the police back to cancel the call, but of course, they can't cancel calls of this nature....SMH!

There we all are, kids playing in the street, talking a bit with neighbors as the police car finally pulls up. I tell him my storyline that I had come up with....just kidding, I told him what must have happened with the dead bolt and how I apparently am not as strong as I lead on to believe because I could not wiggle and jiggle the door open (I left that part out, but that's what I was thinking on the inside). I was waiting for the "jerkish" type of cop to be annoyed with even having to respond to this call, when he smiled and then asked the kids if they had ever seen inside a police car. The boys LOVED looking inside, turning on the lights, hearing the siren, and seeing the flares.

So, the moral of the story....make up a crazy story in your head that there's a crazy person in your house, waiting for you, then call the cops and your kiddos will get to check out a police car and think it's the coolest thing ever! But beware, you'll have another SMH moment to add to the books!

The End!!!!

Off The Wall Nerves

My first Les Mills training I went into blind. I knew nothing of what I was embarking on or if I would even enjoy this new adventure. I left a new person, ready to teach, inspire, and encourage. I felt prepared, at least as far as knowing what I was working towards.

This weekend, I enter a new area of Les Mills, CXWorx. For 36 hours I will do nothing but think, learn, and do this class! This group fitness class is PURE core, abs, and back. It's intense to say the least. I heard one person say one time when doing the class, "Don't think about the pain, just do the class." It's so true!

So, I have learned the track, I know the moves, I sing the words to the songs (from listening to it so much), and my abs are already stronger. I can't help to ask then....WHY AM I DOUBTING MYSELF? I am beyond nervous to walk into that room and look weak. To fail at giving the correct instruction, to not "fit in". What, really? WHY do I care if I fit in....ugh I feel like a high school kid again.

I hate that I doubt myself. I bust my rear, work hard, and try hard to live each moment to the fullest. I am in shape, I run, I teach at least 2 classes a week that include yoga, pilates, and tai chi. I stand up in front of gym members and lead them to hopefully a new, stronger future. I have passion in what I do and I want others to see my passion.

So, maybe I doubt myself because I'm worried that others won't see my passion for building a stronger, healthier body. It's odd to think that for some reason I worry how strangers will view me, even from first impressions (when I am quiet, reserved, and working up the confidence to be outgoing....odd right, for all of you that know me would NEVER imagine me as quiet, but that's just because I'm so comfortable around you that I am ME!).

Over the next 36 hours I plan to tell myself and convince myself that I can do it, I am strong enough, it will hurt but will be worth it, and at the end of the day I will know I did my best.

Oh, and this too....

Laugh A Little

Yes, I am addicted to Pinterest, oh well! BUT, the fun thing with that is that I find some hilarious photos. So, I will share them with all of you that are non-Pinterest followers!

My Daughter

That moment when you're standing in line at a crowded store and you smell something, but since you are with your kids (and you're an adult), you choose to not make a big deal about it. Then, your 2 year old daughter puts her hand to her nose and says, VERY LOUDLY.....

"EWWWW STINKY!"

Then she looks at each of us (Cooper and myself) and asks (again loudly)

"You toot?"

Cooper replies "It wasn't me!" As he waves his nose with his hand.

I am over there trying really hard to say quietly, it wasn't us, let's just start putting this stuff on the check out belt to attempt to distract her from the smell. She continues on a minute or two more while people begin looking around....I feel sorry for the person who was the guilty party. Apparently my daughter has a keen sense of smell!

Regrets

When you stop at a red light and look at the car next to you to see the driver singing, dancing, and jamming out to a song....and honestly they just look weird. Yep, that's me! I am that driver that is dancing, singing, and jamming out. I have even broadened my "group" to my kiddos...they love it. To top this, I am notorious for making up my own words to songs if I don't know what the lyrics are supposed to be. It is a bit embarrassing, though, when I sing the song around other people, wrong words and all, and they look at me like I'm crazy.

*Side note, I will never admit that I am crazy, but I am me....one who tries to live without regrets, live each day (even moment) to the fullest. Why not? Life is great and should be enjoyed and that joy should be shared! Now resuming previous thought process.....

So, this morning at church as the song "How He Loves Us" by David Crowder Band was being sung, I followed the words on the screen. Here they are....

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me
And O how He loves us Oh,
O how He loves us
How He loves us all
Yeah He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking

So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

It's an amazing song, one that I regularly belt out at the top of my lungs when I am driving by myself. Every time I heard this song, I am reminded how much God loves me....so cool.

This morning though, I realized that I have been singing the song wrong (that's not a new surprise to me). The green verse above hit me hard. Particularly the line "I don't have time to maintain these regrets" It seems so easy for us (okay, I'll speak for me at least) to hold onto events in our life when we mess up. We dwell in the guilt, the shame, and the feelings, thus giving the devil the ability to steal our joy.

So, I look at this line in two ways. One is that we should not beat ourselves up for our mistakes. With that thought though, we should not stay at a place where we relive the same mistakes over and over again. By doing this, we no longer "regret" our decisions, but instead have begun living a lifestyle that was once considered a "regret" in our everyday life. That doesn't sound fun to me.

Rather, we should accept that mistakes (sin) happens....everyday for every one, there's no escaping it. Instead, we recognize the mistake, we ask for forgiveness, and we move on and continue to enjoy the life around us. To hold onto the regret will only make us bitter, worrisome, and distracted. I can't help but think of the process when it comes to a young child. They hit their sibling, they get disciplined for the action, they apologize and ask for forgiveness, and are then ready to play again. For my children I work at quick forgiveness, in an attempt to not rob my child of their joy and vigor for life. Just the same, I believe that God wants us to bounce back up and live life after we stumble, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.

Let go of Regret, and instead grab hold of the joys all around you!

Inspiration

***Disclaimer***
This blog is intended for me to have a place to put my thoughts, feelings, jokes, etc. It's as if this is my diary that I hide under my mattress at night....BUT, I allow it to be public for everyone to read. So, you don't have to agree or like what I say, but if you choose to read my blog, just know that it is what I WANT to say, and not what I should say to "play it safe."


Okay, that's over....so here it goes.

I have always wanted to "stay in shape." I never really played any sports growing up, I ran cross country for a short while, but just never really stuck with anything. Honestly, I was just thin/skinny because that's how God had made me. Once at Texas A&M, I had the ability to exercise at an amazing Rec Center on campus. I went from time to time, ran a bit here and there, but again was never really stuck in a good routine.

After graduating from college and becoming pregnant with Cooper, I decided to get into a consistent work out routine. So, 4 days a week after work I would head to gym, do some cardio, lift some weights, and do some core training. After both of my pregnancies, I was the heaviest that I had ever been. I look back now at pictures taken right after having Aubrey, and I am amazed at how much my hard work and dedication has paid off.

Deciding to run a half marathon was one of the craziest decisions I had ever made, but in the end, one of the best decisions as well. At the time I could not even finish a mile run without having to stop a few times. I began to question if I could really run 13.1 miles without stopping (which was my goal). But through many early, cold, and LONG morning runs and the dedication of a running partner, along with a drive that I could do it, I met my goal.

Through that journey, my weight from both pregnancies began to fall off of me. It was not easy though. I went through a period where my calves would cramp up immediately after I stopped running, to the point where I would fall to the ground and someone would have to carry me inside. Many mornings all I wanted to do was turn my alarm off after only getting a few hours of sleep that night due to still having a nursing baby waking up at night. There were bitter cold morning runs that made my chest hurt from the cold air...and made me want my bed and warm covers even more. It was not easy, it was tough, it was hard, many times I wanted to stop and give up on my goal.

Looking back now, I am SO GLAD that I never gave up (completely). I worked hard and smart to get myself - body, mind, and endurance - to a level higher than I had imagined.

I want to be someone's inspiration. I want to be encouragement to a mom (new or years down the road into "mommy-hood") who wonders if her body will ever return to it's previous state (fyi - mine has not returned all the way to my pre-preggo body, but that's okay. I'm healthy, fit, and strong....so I'm happy!). I want other's to believe that they can do it, even through the tough, rough, and crappy parts. With dedication, hard work, and determination, they can reach a healthy, fit, and strong body.

Because......

This is Your Life

Thought I would share with you my latest question that I keep having to go back and answer. Whatever size the issue, big or small, how one reacts and handles it depends a lot on who we want to be.

So, I keep asking myself, "This is your life, are you who you want to be?"

(That answer is still pending!)

Enjoy the music.

Being Proud

This is my goal....emotionally and physically. To be proud of who I am, who I can be, who I will be, and what I do.

But, above all else, I want My GOD to be proud of who HE made me to be!