Off The Wall Nerves

My first Les Mills training I went into blind. I knew nothing of what I was embarking on or if I would even enjoy this new adventure. I left a new person, ready to teach, inspire, and encourage. I felt prepared, at least as far as knowing what I was working towards.

This weekend, I enter a new area of Les Mills, CXWorx. For 36 hours I will do nothing but think, learn, and do this class! This group fitness class is PURE core, abs, and back. It's intense to say the least. I heard one person say one time when doing the class, "Don't think about the pain, just do the class." It's so true!

So, I have learned the track, I know the moves, I sing the words to the songs (from listening to it so much), and my abs are already stronger. I can't help to ask then....WHY AM I DOUBTING MYSELF? I am beyond nervous to walk into that room and look weak. To fail at giving the correct instruction, to not "fit in". What, really? WHY do I care if I fit in....ugh I feel like a high school kid again.

I hate that I doubt myself. I bust my rear, work hard, and try hard to live each moment to the fullest. I am in shape, I run, I teach at least 2 classes a week that include yoga, pilates, and tai chi. I stand up in front of gym members and lead them to hopefully a new, stronger future. I have passion in what I do and I want others to see my passion.

So, maybe I doubt myself because I'm worried that others won't see my passion for building a stronger, healthier body. It's odd to think that for some reason I worry how strangers will view me, even from first impressions (when I am quiet, reserved, and working up the confidence to be outgoing....odd right, for all of you that know me would NEVER imagine me as quiet, but that's just because I'm so comfortable around you that I am ME!).

Over the next 36 hours I plan to tell myself and convince myself that I can do it, I am strong enough, it will hurt but will be worth it, and at the end of the day I will know I did my best.

Oh, and this too....